I’m not like other people. Story to follow…

We have rows of Norwegian Maples that run down both sides of our street. They are all around the same size and age (~50 ft tall and 30 years old) and I understand they were all planted when the Dutch killed all the Elm trees that used to be there. They are annoyingly intrusive so I have to pull a few dozen seedlings out of the flower beds and my garden every year. But otherwise it’s really nice to live on a tree-lined road. They turn a beautiful shade of golden this time of the year and then drop a thick layer of leaves that coat the world and are quite satisfying to crunch through with your feet or to watch blow around in the wind. Sheboygan does a really great job of keeping the streets tree-lined with many cool types of trees like flowering crabapple, japanese maple, catalpa, and such.

Anyway, this time of the year most people rake the leaves into huge piles near or in the road. We also don’t want the sewers to get blocked so we clear out any leaves that might cause a great flood in the spring. And then a truck that I call “The Giant Suckinator” comes by and collects them. It’s a covered dump truck with a huge vacuum hose that comes over the top of the cab and hangs off of the front of the truck. The driver can remotely make it move around or just wiggle back and forth. I tend to think it looks kind of like an elephant if its trunk started mid-back. And the suction power is pretty impressive. It can demolish piles of wet leaves and I’ve seen one suck up chunks of broken pumpkin. The sound of it also completely terrifies our cats, unsurprisingly since they are already scared of just our house vacuum cleaner and this thing is like the Godzilla of vacuum cleaners with cat-sized hose.  Yikes!

So here’s the weird part. While most people are raking leaves from their yards down to the street to where the Giant Suckinator can get them, I’m hurriedly raking them up from the street and away from where it can get them. I rake them up the slight hill in my front yard and over to my garden. There I wet them down and cover them with a thin layer of dirt to keep them from blowing away. I’ve even stole the neighbors leaf piles while they weren’t looking. The leaves in my garden will break down over the winter and spring and will be nice compost to feed my ‘maters next summer. Also any of the neighborhood’s old pumpkins are fair game. Why would you actually throw your pumpkin out when you can toss it into your garden and compost it? I also filled 3 garbage bags full of leaves and hauled them into the basement. That will be used for worm bedding when I clean out their bins over the winter, spring, and next summer.

And in conclusion, I’m not like normal people.

Mike

Well not quite, but close.

First off a tomato season summary. I think they did pretty well. The plants that I started myself kicked butt, and most of the other seedlings that I bought did pretty well. They all produced at least some tomatoes and I saved the seeds of all the heirlooms varieties I grew, so that I can start them myself next year. I think the drought we had in July-August hurt them and I should have babied them a bit more instead of tough-love. They just don’t seem to like tap water the way they like rain water. Maybe I should get that rain barrel Vicki’s always talking about. Anyway, they dried up a bit during the drought, even with me watering them every few days. They came back in August when it started raining again and I got a nice second crop in September and October. And as I type this we still haven’t gotten a frost here yet (there’s one coming tonight), so the season really lasted this year. Over the last two weeks I’ve been cutting them down and harvesting the green fruit. It’ll either ripen or rot, and there’s no way to tell which fruit will do what. I’m still having my tomato sandwiches for lunch everyday, but I’d give that another two weeks and it’ll be done. Time to start planning next year! Oh, and the garlic!

A few months ago I orders a “Garlic Sampler” from Seed Savers. 9 different kinds of heirloom garlic. Seemed harmless enough. FYI, garlic is planted in the fall and is harvested mid-summer. It grows a bit in the fall and seems to die off, but really it’s developing roots. And then it pops up in early spring and grows like crazy until the end of June when it can be harvested. We’ve been getting this wickedly good organic garlic from the farmers market the last few years, so I figured it would grow around here and I could give it a try.

So, the Garlic Sampler seemed like a good choice. It arrived a few weeks ago and I realized my mistake. For each kind of garlic they ship you two bulbs. Each bulb has at least 6 cloves, sometimes as many as 15-20 depending on the garlic type. And you’re supposed to plant the cloves 6 inches from each other. And garlic doesn’t really keep like seeds do, so you have to plant it or eat it. So I ended up with 160 garlic cloves planted in the garden yesterday. Figure 6 inches between each clove (I actually cheated a little) that’s a 20ft by 20 ft plot of garlic. Next summer I’ll be rolling in garlic like I was in tomatoes this year. I tried a bit of the smaller cloves and I don’t think I’ll be complaining. I think I’ll be making lots of pizzas with the tomatoes and garlic.

Mike

Freaky like Frankenstein’s monster.

Freaky ugly.

Freakishly large. (2 lbs, 7 ounces)

Freak who grows freaky tomatoes.

Mike

Anybody want some tomatoes? I have lots! Seriously. They are taking over our kitchen table. And I just shipped about 5 pounds to my cousin Eric in NYC and gave about another 5 pounds to my mom and uncle and aunt. I made some beefy tomato soup last weekend. I gave some to my next-door neighbors, just for being nice (and NOT telling me about their medical problems, like the other neighbor). I’ve also done about 3 batches of sun-dried tomatoes in the oven. Basically to cut them in half and lay them on cookie sheets , sprinkle with olive oil, salt and spices, and then cook in the oven at a very low temperature until they look completely dehydrated. Usually around 12 -18 hours. And then freeze. I have a batch in the oven right now. Mmmmm.

Kitchen Table:

Oh, and some of the later varieties are starting to produce. The Brandywine tomatoes are just delicious! This one was also around 1 pound, 3 ounces. Yikes!

I usually cut up a few smaller ones for my salad every day. Vicki liked the color composition of my choices a few days ago and had to take a picture. Strange artist peoples.

Mike

So the tomatoes production is really swinging into high gear. I’m currently pulling a few out every day, sometimes 5-6. We’re getting to the point where we just can’t eat them fast enough. I’ve given a bunch to a nice neighbor who gave us a bunch of perennials this spring, and I’m thinking about freezing a few up soon.

They are coming almost exclusively from the plants I started myself, but a few of the cherry-sized tomato plants are starting to produce also. The only weird thing is that the weather here has been pretty cool (highs in the 70s, lows in the 50s) so the Black Krim aren’t very black, just kind of purple, and I think some of the flavor production inside the fruits have been slowed down. However it’s supposed to be pretty hot this coming week, so it’ll be interesting to see if the later ripening fruit taste differently. Also, we’re still waiting for some of the later varieties, like the Brandywine, to ripen. I wonder if the cooler weather has slowed them down as well. We’ll see soon.

Here’s some of the production so far..

Black Krim

Red Zebra

We picked up some incredibly good bacon from a local butcher shop and have been making BLTs pretty much every day. Of course, I had to record one for posterity.

The rest of the garden has been doing pretty well, also. My pole beans are up to the top of their poles and starting to flower. Local gangs of rabbits were wiping them out in spring, so I had to re-plant and put a fence around them for the first time this year.

Vicki and I have a joint project with some peppers this year. I don’t care much for peppers, except in fajitas. But I just can’t let them wilt or anything bad happen to them. They’ve been doing okay, but would really like some hot weather, too.

And, finally, all of my mutant sunflowers have finally opened. They’re at least 12 feet tall and if they fall over they could wipe out a half dozen tomato plants easily. I’m going to let them bloom for a while, but then take them down before they get droopy. Here’s a few pics.

I already have a few plans for next year. I’d like a lot of 6 ft tall fencing to make about 2 ft diameter round fence supports for each tomato plant. That would definitely help with all the plants falling over I have this year and might help keep the jungle apart. And I could stop buying poles. I’d like to expand the garden in the front to the cherry tree and in back to the edge of the patio. I’d like some black plastic “mulch” (actually just thick plastic wrap) to cover the garden during the spring, both to warm the soil up sooner and also to crush the weeds. I could also use it to kill the grass where I want to expand the garden. I’d also like to do less plants next year. Let’s see how that works out.

Mike

Sounds like a horror movie, doesn’t it? The COMPOUND, eh he he! Obey, or you’ll be sent to The Compound and will never be seen again!

Actually “The Compound” is code between Vicki and I for our next house. Usually what happens is some nimrod drives by the house with his car stereo loud enough to shake the windows and we just look at each other and say “When we get our Compund we won’t have to listen to that anymore”. Or when our freaky drugged-out neighbor corners us for a 30-minute discussion of his prostate problems we remind ourselves that once we have our Compound we won’t even be able to see our neighbor’s houses, so we damn well won’t have to talk with them if we don’t want to.

So the Compound is actually a pretty nice place. It has a least 5-10 acres of land with a wooded area we can go sit in and watch the wildlife. It has a small orchard with apple, cherry, pear, and plum trees, as well as some berry patches of strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. It has enough room for me to plant as many tomatoes as I want, as well as any other veggies I feel like. Sometime is has a sheep or horse pasture. Lately it has a duck pond where we can watch the geese and ducks from our deck, which is also stocked with trout if I get the urge to go fishing (or ice fishing). Oh, and it definitely has a big sunny kitchen and a wrap-around deck with a porch swing and at least a half dozen cats.

Depending on how introverted we are feeling and how much the world has pissed us off lately, it might also have a 100-foot spiked wall (think King Kong island) with skulls on top and a blood-filled moat to keep the world out. It might be located in northern Manitoba, hundreds of miles from the nearest town, as long as we can get Internet access there. Sometimes it might involve us growing all our own food and making our own clothes out of sheep and mail-order yarn and living in total harmony with nature. Told you I was a dirty hippie. Hmmm, maybe only if I can get mail-order Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So, who wants in?

Mike

So we were out of town for the weekend. Before we left I thought I had spotted a bit of color on some of my Stupice tomatoes. Stupice (stu-PEACH-ka) is my early heirloom that only takes 58 days from seedling planting until ripe fruit. The fruit are smaller, maybe the size of a large plum, but it’s supposed to be very tasty for an early variety and it’s supposed to PRODUCE, making tons of small fruit all summer and fall until the first frost kills it. Up until this point they’ve been living up to their reputation. I have at least 30-40 fruit on each plant, and around 100 flowers. I’m letting them sprawl out of the garden and across the grass which they seem to like.

Anyway, after returning, I found a tomato almost completely ripe! With two more getting there! And the Black Krim is showing a bit of color, too! It’s happening, it’s really happening! **Mike breaks down**

**Sniff** here’s some pictures of the almost-ripe one and some others that are getting close. BLTs for everyone! [dance]

More coming!

Black Krim. Maybe by next week…..

On a different topic, what’s the deal with sunflowers? I’ve grown them a few times and every time they just get huge! They have some kind of fast-grow gene that lets them get 12 feet tall in a few months. I made the mistake this year of planting them in the more fertile area of my garden and they are literally getting close to the second-story windows on my house. See the pics below. I wonder if anyone has ever tried to create tomato-sunflower hybrid.

Pretty

But very tall!

Mike

Uhh, just felt like posting a few pictures I’ve taken over the last few days. Hope these don’t bugger with my manly reputation.

My Tomato Garden

Vicki’s Butterfly Bush Flowers

Closeup of Prudence Purple Tomato Flower

Our Youngest

I’m Ready For Winter.

Mike

So I have tons of these huge beautiful tomato fruit that simply refuse to ripen. Every day I check them for some signs of pinkness or whatever color they are supposed to ripen into, but nothing. I wonder if the cooler dryer weather we’ve been having lately has slowed down the ripening process. I just want one to try. But I know as soon as I get one, a week later I’ll have 12, and a week after that 12×12.

Anyway, the plants look great. I’ve been using worm tea on them about once a week and they seem to like that. My beans are finally growing well now that I have a fence around them to keep them from getting eaten. The cukes are getting bigger, but still no flowers yet. I’ve started digging up some of my potatoes for eating. They are going to be done, soon.

Oooh, we’re thinking of getting a garlic sampler from Seed Savers and planting some garlic in the fall for next summer. I think we get 10 different kinds. There’s this guy at the farmer’s market that sells this great organic garlic. He gets $10 a bunch, and last year we bought all that we could. It lasted until March or so. It’s actually a hot and spicy garlic. Delicious.

So here’s some pics of my unripened tomatoes. Maybe if I embarrass them by posting pictures of them on the Internet it’ll shame them into ripening soon.

Mike

Brandywine

Black Krim

Opalka

Yeah, I picked up another tomato plant last night. Some of the reading I’ve been doing raved about a heirloom named “Aunt Ruby’s German Green”. It produces a spicy sweet green tomato, bigger and more tasty than my Green Zebras supposedly. Well, we were at this greenhouse getting some more poles to tie my existing tomatoes to and, guess what, they had a bunch they were trying to get rid of for $1 each. The plants mostly looked crappy, too tall and not enough leaves, but I picked out the best one and took her home with me. And all it cost me was a Butterfly Bush and a huge Echinacea plant for Vicki. Since there’s no more room in the garden I planted Auntie Green in a huge pot. It’s supposed to take 80 days to produce ripe fruit, so that’ll be September, but I don’t care. The worm poo should reduce that.

Do I need professional help?

Mike